...and I died in a car crash
by enlite
(394 views) - 11/18/04
(recorded 11/18/04 @ 1:53:19 PM)
On Monday night Ryan and Dave broke up (beau_ryan) so Sean decided to drive to Phoenix at 4:00am on Tuesday. Somewhere on the 17 he hit some black ice and his truck made friends with the side of the mountain. He and Jackie were shaken up and she got a concussion. Shortly after their accident, a semi-truck slid off the ice and smashed into the wall as well. The driver was okay but the passenger, his cousin, was killed. Somehow he managed to get underneath a tire as the cab went into a ditch. Not a good time.

Sean called me at 8:30am or so and told me that he'd been in a car accident and the whole time he was in the ambulance and whatnot he was thinking about me. The kid never quits. I drove up to see him that night and we spent a lot of time talking about "what if"s.

He was shaken up, and I think the whole "I could have died" made him realize that every day he isn't with me is a day he doesn't get to be with me. If that makes sense... it will to those of you who have felt similarly. I really do think he got the point. I wanted him to realize that he fucked up and it hurt. And he told me that he's never felt sorry about anything before this, and he's never felt like he lost something, or was missing a part of him until I left. I hope that means that he's learned.

As far as us getting back together... I won't do it unless he moves back home. And even if he comes home for Spring, I'll be gone all summer, and then he'll be in Europe all next year, I'll be gone the next summer, and after that it'd be nice to be in grad school in California. And I don't know if he'll just pick-up and come with me. So it's hard.

He says it's supposed to be hard, that's why it's worth it.

I think life is supposed to just happen. So I'm going to wait and see what does.
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Notes:
youre right.

i dont quit. :)


   [eltigre (J) 11/22/04 6:20 PM]




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