It's better to simply disregard this.
by Wildfire
(601 views) - 8/1/05
(recorded 8/1/05 @ 8:29:49 AM)
I don't feel numb. Maybe this is what ----- felt when she said she felt numb, and just didn't have a better word to describe it. That's so unlike -----.

It's not a lack of feeling, it's just a ... confusion and utter confliction of feelings. I have so much going on inside me, I just want to tear everything out, piece by piece, until I can lay everything in front of me and figure this out.

I'm hurting. I want to cry out for help but I don't know who or what can help me.

I guess this is why they say relationships are hard.

My past relationship history is fucked up enough, but hers is the one rearing its ugly head. The worst part is that it's not just one issue, it's a myriad of issues that are floating, always in motion, impossible to pin down. She doesn't know how to fix them and I don't know how to help her.

I feel helpless and hopelessly lost. My heart aches and a new uneasiness has settled into my chest cavity.

Physical pain I can handle, but emotional pain... I haven't quite learned how to deal with yet.

I'll feel better soon... I just have to.
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You know 100% of the things I'd say in this note to you, so I won't say them again, but just know I love you, kay?

   [disillusioned (J:: M) 8/2/05 4:06 AM]

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