Christian Family + Girlfriend = Glad I Live 100 Miles Away
by Wildfire
(586 views) - 8/11/05
(recorded 8/11/05 @ 2:57:03 PM)
My family just happens to be very Christian. Which is fine, I'm Christian too, this has always been a binding tie and something that's worked very well for me in this life.

Until I told them about my girlfriend.

Suddenly the muffled "I'll always be there for you"s that came from my teary-eyed mother after a particularly heinous crime committed by me sound so distant, so ... untrue. I've committed no crime, Mom! I don't understand how things can turn around this quickly! Why is it that just because I have a girlfriend I transformed into some foreign person you've never met?

The truth is, I really haven't. My personality, my charming good looks, my intelligence, wit, humor, compassion, kindness... none of these things have changed in the least. My family is simply unwilling to admit that a child they so happily raised could be a dirty lesbian and not have changed into a horrible person in the process.

The fact of the matter is that yes, the Bible technically says homosexuality is wrong. But the Bible has its flaws, surely they can see those. The Bible technically says we can sell our children into slavery, too. Shall we all just do that? Would you like to sell me and be done with it, Dad?

I hate when people hide behind the Bible. Can you step away and simply think for yourself? For just one minute?

The only thing that separates a girlfriend from a boyfriend is gender. Falling in love with another woman does not make me a bad person. Loving a woman does not make me unclean. Having an intimate relationship with a female is not gross or wrong. Not in my head.

I'm ready for the place that all my friends say we'll reach soon. A place where my family will finally realize that this isn't just a fling, it's not a phase, and they will move past it and accept my girlfriend for who she is, not reject her because she is distinctly lacking a penis.

Promises of loving me no matter what and always being there for me feel false. I feel betrayed. I've been invited home for Christmas... but my father made it quite clear that my girlfriend was NOT to come with me. Between him and my mother, I've been told a number of times that they want as little to do with her as possible while still keeping me in their lives.

All this tells me is that my family wants their old daughter back. What they don't realize is that I'm the same person I used to be, they just didn't know that I secretly liked women. I hope they stop trying to change me soon because I'm afraid they really will drive themselves out of my life forever. That's not something I want.

Makes me envious of my gay friend who has a family that is not religious. This is the first time my religion has worked against me instead of with me, and I fear that something as unimportant as sexuality is driving me away from my family. What's worse is that my family is letting me be pushed off into the sunset. They've stopped fighting for me, for the people we all used to be.
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Notes:
the one main problem with hugely religious families is that anytime a single thing contradicts it, it's not a simple matter. it's like life altering.

many "close" families that I've known who were uber churchy always had it good. no fights, religion helped... until they grew up. they realized religion isn't a crutch. you can't just pray and have it all work out. many of them couldn't deal with actual problems that life threw at them.

some wanted simple tattoos or girl/boyfriends and their once supportive family was now their biggest adversary.sorry you had to run into it but it's bound to happen.

my best advice would be stay strong in your faith but understand that you're you, and you need to do what makes you happy. eventually family will come around.

~Cut and print~
   [noprotein (J:: M) 8/18/05 7:46 PM]




Distinctly lacking a penis? EEW! Girls are gross!

*hug*

You can either wait a long time for your parents to give up their religious crusade, or you can just accept that if they have to be in the same room as you and your same-sex lover the best you'll get is uncomfortably forced politeness, often pierced with sideways looks of "eew there's a gay in our kitchen".

Hmm, this isn't encouraging at all. Well, that's life. Sorry it sucks so bad.


   [enlite (J:: M) 8/18/05 8:22 PM]




One of ym good friend's mom is a lesbian and she really questioned her faith over God's wrath against gays. I would type-fit the message to fit you especially, but I'm leazy, so I'll simply quote myself here and you can make it apply as need be:

"Your mother, as opposed to your father, has reached a higher place in life that transcends conformity and pushes the societal and religious boundaries to a point of questions. Then come people like the Jehovah's Witness, laying bare these questions and filling your mind and the minds of others with their beliefs, causing people just like you to doubt themselves and their families every single day. And then religions claim to know God, the savior and the tender, the all-powerful, all-caring Lord. But their stances are not simply borderline hypocritical, they're downright blatant and fullblown. Where their word of God says peace and patience, they resort to pain and force-fed faith. They've lost control of their own selves, ignoring the fact that God gave them free will to act gay, straight, abstinent or whatever. We pervade ourselves by looking too deeply into "faith" and "religion", when all they are are broad terms that put us, as humans, on a level where we as individuals feel secure in the boundless love of whichever God we choose to worship. In truth, according to the teachings of most major denominations, as long as your mother offers herself up to God, she will be given a place of serenity. She's commited no heinous acts. And if christians can look back on their old testament and say that the ways of God then have changed and now apply to modern days (look at Leviticus to see so many changes), then they cannot, without self-contradiction, say that God cannot change to accept the joining of same sex. God has changed with times before and proven himself far more liberal than once thought. I'm sure God thinks outside of the box. I'm sure he is the box and the absence within and without it, so I'm damn sure God's thinking does not heavily weigh and overanalyze a more social than heretical slight. And fuck...don't even get me started on how society views homosexuality in the wrong light. That would just be a rant on imbeciles and closeminded idiots...This was a rant...Meh"

~Anthony~
   [PromisesToMyself (J) 8/21/05 12:40 AM]




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