Why don't I care more?
by Wildfire
(594 views) - 3/7/06
(recorded 3/7/06 @ 3:22:06 PM)
I'm just going through the motions. Why? Why am I doing this again?

It's not supposed to be like this anymore.

I cried into the laundry today.

Is love not what it used to be or is it just *my* love that's changed? It's amazing how many things have changed, I guess. I thought that once we got to be together that it would be alright. I don't feel like she's even trying anymore.

I've gotten accustomed to being ignored and not communicated with. And when everything finally reaches the boiling point and I can't hold it in any more... it's my own fault. She's never wrong.

I think what I miss more than anything is my self-worth. Since when is it okay to let someone do this to me?

I've been fighting myself a lot lately. I don't like it.

I don't know. Whatever.
Back to Wildfire's journal :: Back to the journal index :: Wildfire's latest entry
Love, as far as I've experienced it (and let's not pretend that any of us at the cutesy ages of 18-24 are well versed in such a thing) is highly specialized. The love you felt for one person is completely different than that which you'll feel for the next. And going on a "break" gives both people time to change what they want and what they're willing to give.

It's no good, but that's life. Relationships aren't supposed to be easy; that's why they're worth it when they're good. If you never go through the shit you're lucky, but you'll probably never be happy in the long run.

Also: your third line makes me smile.

   [enlite (J:: M) 3/8/06 12:22 PM]

Glad to see you back — post more.

You're one of the good ones *wink*

   [enlite (J:: M) 3/8/06 12:24 PM]

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