law and order.
by flower maiden deux
(1272 views) - 12/20/08
(recorded 12/20/08 @ 5:50:28 AM)
i'm hot. and not like, owh! owh! but like, gruesome nobody wants to touch you because you look heated hot. my head hurts. it's been hurting for like a week now, on and off. usually at night, in the wee hours but not here lately. i guess it's decided to stick around throughout my day. because hey! what better do i have to do. actually i think it might be from my vision - i think i've made it go bad with poser specs and hours of internet play. so along with that, my eyes hurt. my hands smell like bleach. mum made me clean the bathroom today. and then they came home and inspected it, and then ooh'ed and aww'ed saying i did such a good job. "the bathroom looks beautiful nika, good job!" oh! really?? goodness thank you! i was so worried that you wouldn't approve! but now that you've given me the "you clean bathrooms well blessing" i feel as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders! >_> i wanted three dollars from my mother today. "why?" she asks. "just trust me. can i have three dollars?" she's cleaning, something, which is a sure sign she's upset but i figure not at me, because i'm super-mondo-bathroom cleaner. (wrong.) "what do you need the three dollars for?" now, if my mom didn't have three dollars the first words out of her mouth would've been, "i don't have three dollars." but it wasn't. it was, 'what do you need it for?' therefor, it better be a good reason or your not getting it. now, i figured i could joke and play and make her laugh at obscene answers, i.e. "ah, drugs." but i figured i shouldn't beat around the bush. "okay. i have four dollars. i need three more so i can go get some food." well who knew those were the magic words that opened the metaphorical gates to the floods of hell, because tell you what - that's what it felt like. being drowned in the floods of hell. but change floods with words. mean, bitter ones, and hell with, well my mother. "blah blah blah, 158 dollars on groceries, blah blah blah, learn to eat at home you brat, blah blah blah ungrateful." i don't know what really went on. i just zoned out letting my eyes go wide, and then when she was done i said, (brilliantly, i might add) "so what you're saying is i can't have three dollars." o.o. yeah, that wasn't a good idea. but wtf ever. she's got this tude thing goin' cuz he husbands a tardmo and killing himself slowly by ignoring his diabetes and hiding candy wrappers in drawers. so i promptly ignored her for the rest of the evening. of course, until after a beautiful episode of extreme make over (i want on that show, goddamnit) she starts telling me about how i need to go back to the gym (excuse me?) and i've been lazy by not going (quoi?) and when in the hell am i going to get back on a normal sleep schedule (have i ever been on one? and for those of you who don't know - no, no i have not) and i'm just like O_O "don't talk to me mom." and then she jumped my shit s'more. "mom, why do you find it necessary to take your bad day out on me? if you're in a bad moon, just leave me alone and don't talk to me, it's not hard." she glared. "how would you know if i've been in a bad mood! you've been sleeping all day!" .... "and lucky for me that i should wake just in time to find you at home in a lovely mood." which is weird, because this morning was peaches. she even wanted me to go with her to circle k at 5 am, (because i was still awake.) i had just taken my sleeping pills and they started kicking in which really, is like being drunk. i've never been awake to feel my sleeping pills kick in, but this was hilarious. i couldn't stand right or focus. so mom takes me to circle k, and i'm all hanging out in jimmy jams and no bra, and so i grab a donut. and i start eating it. and so i guess i forgot i had a donut, because i reached in and grabbed another. and i didn't notice until my mom comes up to me, whispering all mean like "what the hell are you doing?!! one nika! one! you don't need too!" i swear to god she would've smacked it out of my hand if she didn't think people would call the cops for child abuse. or really large people who seem drunk abuse. so i ate them both, in spite of her. (what? did you want me to put a half eaten one back? i could've) and then made her wait while i drunkenly ambled over to the coolers and tried my damndest to get a orange juice and then an oversized cup of crushed ice. and i did. and then walked out all like, sticking my tongue out at my mom as she held the door open for me. some might say that was rude, but i was like, retarded and clearly not responsible for my actions. currently i'm so warm, and sweating. i sweat a lot now, and not like, gross dripping sweat, but like that fine layer of glistening. i can't cool down to save my life. it's a side effect of effexor. and not eating normally. i only eat like, once a day. and it's something stupid. like my weight in cereal. my cat keeps killing baby lizards, which makes my heart sad because a lot of them are no bigger than the tip of my finger. so cute. but a biiigg giant unnecessary cockroach? he pays no mind. i'm uncomfortable and still after all this, my head is pounding. i should just pop an ambien and go to sleep. but ambien, not like my beloved lunesta, makes me super sleepy and groggy all damned day. currently loki is slowly, but surely pulling himself across the living room floor to get closer to lady, our dog. who, by the way, hates loki. when loki was a babe and lady wasn't quite the old bag she is today (though still just as cantankerous) loki would worm about her legs, trying to love on her until standing between her front. she'd look down. look back up. and then lift a foot and bring it crashing down on his head. you know, i don't think he ever really figured out what was hitting him. but i'm pretty sure that's why he's retarded now. holy crap that story makes me laugh. i had to take a little breather from my drivel to let myself laugh. people i'm talking to just an hour ago want me to drive out and then meet them. that's a negatory ghost riders. one's a 31 year old. caitlyn would kill me if she found out i continued to give him the time of day - forgive me caitlyn! you have to understand, he drives a brand new charger! i couldn't stop myself from asking him about it! you know they're my weakness! - well. i can't remember what i wanted to say, if anything. just know that i'm hot, disgruntled, bored, dirty, needing a shower, lonely, headachey,.. and something else that was the reason i started this whole thing but no longer can remember. enjoy.
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