i'm not homesick!
by surrogate sonance
(414 views) - 9/7/03
(recorded 9/7/03 @ 5:43:48 PM)

i'm really missing my lil bro and my dad right now. alot. everything keeps reminding me of rob. we got close this summer, whether we want to admit it or not. and i keep making these jokes and theres no one to laugh… my dad isn't around to talk 'bout chem and calc and all my fun engineering shit with me, which is frustrating. this isn't homesick, per say, because i'm thrilled to be out of the house and all that good stuff. its just-- i don't know. maybe its since my mom's been in chicago that i've been with my dad basically all the time. and i'd gotten really comfortable with that. he asked me if i wanted to go to an install last week. he misses me too.


and then theres the creative void. i don't miss the high school organizations. no, not at all. but jamming out, after a gig, with a drumset and a guitar and me on piano just going till we hit something really great, run with it and find ourselves at the end without knowing, thats where it is. or in this case, isn't. i heard some really good jazz this summer, and while i know that i'd never be there, i haven't been able to truly jam since then, and i want to. part of me wants to take up drawing so i can doodle as an outlet. but since i haven't been doing it for thirteen years, i won't be good enough for myself.

that is quite enough whining, i daresay!
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Notes:
Yes, a lot of whining, especially when you're supposed to be doing your chemistry homework and answering your cell phone... ;)
   [enlite (J:: M) 9/7/03 7:01 PM]



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