From Isaiah to Berto with 3.1 miles in between
by Narcissus
(383 views) - 10/30/03
(recorded 10/30/03 @ 6:38:47 PM)
For those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

So why would a non-religious person start an entry with a Bible verse? This verse is one of the few I've heard that really hit home, that I can relate to. For me, it isn't so much about God (yeah, I know, sorry my religious friends), but it's more about faith. I need to have faith in something, be it my family, friends, myself, or, indeed, some supreme being. (My parents are pissed off at me, see below; my friends are still distant; and I always doubt myself, nowadays; so, what else does that leave me to have faith in? I feel like a jump-on-the-bandwagon-when-it's-convenient-for-me Christain, but I rarely feel like I have the proof that God exists, BUT, the calmness I felt today after reading that verse over and over, and thinking about it, and pondering it, and pondering God... that calmness was nothing I've ever been able to achieve on my own. That, in itself, is noteworthy.)

So then, regionals: Windy, horribly windy. I ran a 24:25, my third best time this season (not great, not horrible, just... right about par for the course (ha!)). I was dead at the end of the race. I always have a kick at the end of my races, but today, it wasn't there. I pushed that hard, depite what my time and place say about my race. I came in 7th for our varsity girls, and 31st overall. Girls took thrid (at least we'll go to state), and guys took second after a tiebreaker (runners' scores one through five = same number, go to number 6, whichever team's #6 runner beat the *other* #6 runner won- Highland). State is November 8th. The last time I race for GHS cross-country. (Unless, of course, I get injured or decide that all of a sudden, I can't run so that Jamie can run state if the Frosh runs too...anyways..) Afterwards, I coughed up all this crap (phlegm? lol, what a fun word to *attempt* to spell), and I've been coughing all night. Attractive, huh? Nice.

I pissed off my dad though- after my race, I didn't want to talk because my throat/lungs burned so much, so I told him that. He went home. Bastard. Go and whine and pout. That will get you places. (My dad angers me so much sometimes. What's worse is that I see it in myself occasionally).

(Today's happy thought- though it is a continuation from some other day- I'm getting those lil back dimples. I think they are the sexiest things in the word on girls.. those little indents on the small of your back? Oh! They're nice, and I can see mine when I stand sideways in the mirror...)

God! Sometimes I think I'm a guy! I randomly want to break shit and punch and kick and beat things up. God! Sometimes I hate being a girl! I get randomly emotional, and just start crying like that (*snap*) for no obvious reason. Damn these teenage times. They try my patience, and yet, I'm not ready to grow up. Bleh. Guidence would be nice. (Thought:) I miss the hugs I used to get from Berto.
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Lotsa bases covered there, indeed... and from the looks of it, somewhere around 3.1 miles.
I've been a Christian all my life, of course it is now something I choose and believe in... Faith itself is an incredibly interesting notion, but something not easily covered in the scope of a silly journal-entry note.
And yes, back-dimples are sexy...

   [disillusioned (J:: M) 10/30/03 9:02 PM]

I thought I was the only one that really paid attention to back dimples. They have to be one of the most oddly attractive parts of a woman's body. There's not really any logical reasoning for there to be an attraction, but nevertheless...
   [Canis (J) 11/3/03 8:07 PM]

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