An Ode To Phil
by disillusioned
(Person, 1919 views) - 12/20/03
(recorded 12/20/03 @ 12:38:04 AM)
Below are the collaborative musings of Zach, Evan and myself. They've all been maintained as they were posted originally; we're just organizing them a bit better...

Phil: A Mandatory Goodbye
by Diffused

I'm really saddened by the fact that you are gone from us. I enjoyed last night and instead of ruining anything from those moments, I'll just leave a quick note.

Come back soon and find whatever it is you are looking for. You're too great a buuuuudy to miss forever.


My partner in crime
by Sliced Ice

well phil, im sure your day has been filled of emotional goodbyes and tears. i supose that this chapter in all of our lives has come to a close. or at least put on hiatus. ive known you the least amount of time out of probobly everyone that has been wishing you a farewell but it doesnt seem like it to me. We had a blast over the summer. probly one the best summer of my life. Camping in the woods. random road trips halfway to california. parties at victors or at my place. late night walks with the circle. trips to the vine. meeting up at school and wasting hours there. knowing that when ever i needed someone to be my acompliss on a trip to tucson i could give you a call. concerts. talks that last until the sun comes up. takeing alll of the quarters out of the simpsons arcade game and going to see a shitty movie with them. sitting at tuts with all of the people that we have introduced to our little friend known as a hookah. yeah.... the best times of my life.

just know that i will be damned if this is the last time that the circle is together. it may take a while for all 4 of us to gather again, but i wont be sitting around on my ass just waiting for it to happen. take the time up there that you need to. either finding yourself or learning new ways around the system. just dont take too long and dont loose touch with the friends that you have here. dont let us become just another name on a buddy list or another circled picture in the year book.

i said it before and i say it again "you better come back from penn"

there will be no goodbye from me, just see you next time..... there will be a next time

Phil(ly) doesn't deserve you...
by Disillusioned

Well Phil, my dear friend... the day has come.

I never thought I'd have to see it arrive so soon. I remember the late night walks at the earliest hours of the morning when just you and I would mill around the grounds of our classic high school, talking about how so many people would be leaving so soon, and how you couldn't bear that...

I can't believe I'm having to bear quite this much right now...

I've known you since seventh grade. We've developed a friendship that I'm sure I won't match. No one has that bizarre blend of quirks, outgoingness, occasional annoyances, funny accents, crazy techno knowledge, and so much more... It's what makes you you, and what makes it so hard to have to watch you go.

I know I've been unavailable these past few days to truly spend any "quality" time, but that doesn't mean you won't be missed beyond belief. You were always the one I could count on to go to the gas station at four am with, to drive for hours and hours with, to go to Golfland every Friday and play DDR with, to sit in the parking lot of Jack in the Box, realize we forgot ketchup, and listen to your sister moan about how stupid it was that we were driving back around the drive-thru just to get ketchup- but we both understood.

So much, we've both understood. You were the kind of friend where I didn't have to explain the reference- where you would say something like "They fit!" and I'd counter with "Ohhh myyyy Godddd!" and it'd just flow from there, forever. You were the kind of friend I knew knew every beat of Tranceport and Home in Ibiza and Sandstorm and all those other techno songs- and the kind of friend I knew I could always have there to bust those beats out with me... to scream every word of every song together at the Incubus concert together, to get yelled at by our parents together (my fault, I know), whose house I could spend the night on the couch out in the living room at any time, and so much more...

I'm trying to think of the words to put down here... this is like losing someone so close to me, and for some reason, it's unexpected. I didn't want to truly think about the affect your leaving would have on me, and on all of us, but it's finally sinking in... Where we'd drive to nowhere for Carl's Jr. and talk about funny radio spots, where we'd play LaserQuest together and always be on opposing teams at LAN parties and always seem to mirror each other's study habits and try... try to do "Death Knocks", (something we *will* finish one day, rest assured) and just... so much more... Some of our downs have been crazy too, but we've kept on rolling, and we've never let the truly stupid things get in the way.

This isn't the end. We all know that. But it doesn't keep it from being a difficult reality to swallow. The paths our lives have taken have lead us here, and well, two woods diverged in a yellow wood... and that has made all the difference...

You will be missed. More than we can all say here in this silly form, more than we can say even in person. You know how we feel, because you feel it about each and every one of us. We'll keep in touch, and I'll visit you soon enough. You'll be back out here, cruising in the warm Arizona sun by summer at the latest, so just make it through this next semester.

Know this: The people you've made friendships here with- and there have been *many* of them... You'll never find their match, exactly. The beauty is that you don't need to- you'll make new friends in Pennsylvania who'll discover whatever it is about you that keeps us around. You'll never find another me, or another Zach, or another Evan or Luke, or any of us. But can always rest assured we'll never find someone quite like you.

And that's a good thing.

To my friend of so many years, and with all sincerity: We love you, and we'll miss you greatly.

Your friend always,

Back to disillusioned's Notebook :: Back to the Musings
(on disillusioned's musing)

I hate to see you go. Although we have not had the opportunity to hang out much, the times we have shared are very memorable: Still laugh about the NFG concert when you made it up on stage.

I also want to say thank you for supporting my band by coming to our shows. Your support meant a lot to us, and we really appreciate it (in case we have never mentioned it before). I'm sure that this appreciation extends from Isaac, Nate and Luke as well.

Well, I hope PA treats you well. Keep us posted on whats going on in your life there. Good luck with school. If there is ever anything I can help you with just let me know.

- Brent

   [resplendence (J) 12/17/03 6:34 AM]

(on Sliced Ice's post)
Mirroring my last words to him this morning... "We shall meet again, soon enough"...

   [disillusioned (J :: M) 12/17/03 1:54 PM]

(on Diffused's post)
agreed. make your way back to sunny az! I'm sorry I missed you, but you know where to find me. call me if you need anything.

   [amnesiac (J) 12/17/03 8:36 PM]

Gentlemen, I appreciate it immensly. They'll be more said later on. I'm still pretty sick and I'm on Beth's comp so I don't have much time at the moment. So, thanks and you'll be hearing from me.
~Cut and print~

   [noprotein (J :: M) 12/18/03 9:46 AM]

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