things change we change
by amnesiac
(Everything Else, 1457 views) - 10/7/04
(recorded 10/7/04 @ 10:38:23 AM)
it is bone white and stucco, topped with the classic track-home red roof.

it’s the place where you'll find my room with my bed where my cats sleep. it's where my brother, mommy, and daddy live. it's home of friday night pizza and sunday evening dairy queen. it's the residence of a pool table that replaced the dining room table and a tv that must always be tuned in to a home show, a billiards game, or a bad movie.

and one by one, it fell apart.

my departure meant my floor was not carpeted with a layer of worn clothing. it meant that a box of cocoa pebbles would occupy a pantry shelf, anxiously awaiting my return. it meant that my place at the dinner table would be filled by my brother because it has a better view of the tv.

the city I found myself in was familiar enough to be school, but distant enough to be temporary. so home was infrequent, found only a week or a month at a time.

then it happened again. this time, necessity sent three members of the extended family to live a plane ride away. family parties came to a halt and my home grew a little quieter on the weekends.

during the nearly four month summer, they hardly knew I was there. over half the day, monday through friday, was occupied with work. home had become my hotel, providing clean towels and a warm bed. my family, merely fellow vacationers in this strange land.

luck sent me to my cousin’s. their house in oregon was a reunion of laughter and laziness reminiscent of summer days spent at nana's. no responsibilities, just bad sitcom reruns and mexican food good enough to rival my grandmother’s. for over a week, it was home to me.

i found home again in the home of a friend. there were sibling fights, real food, an obnoxious kitten, a newspaper (oh how i love the ads)... and for a day or two, it was right.

back here, in this building of bunked beds and barred windows, home had eluded me. an afternoon walk brought it back. the sound of sirens has become comforting and narrowly avoiding death by taxi is a cause for giggles. friends here are additions to the family. here or there, just different versions of the same.

home is wherever you find me laughing.
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