That's my arm, not a toy
by noprotein
(Deep Thoughts, 1649 views) - 2/16/04
(recorded 2/16/04 @ 8:55:47 PM)
Those words just escaped my mouth. It seems it would much closer pertain to that of my heart however. So many people take things for granted. Life, ripples, words, feelings... people. I too fall into this category occasionally. Sometimes I just feel like screaming "That's my heart, not a toy" yet those words never escape. They are always drowned out by shock or the sound of shattering soul. Too much drama.

Wish I could stop caring, it will never happen. This is the story of my life. Now is just time to deal with it and learning to move on. Something hopefully more doable.

Much goings on occurring. No chance to write about though. So busy yet so much free time.

Cute kitten dearest
she sits atop my shoulder
haikus are overused

The week:

Had a truly enlightening experience. I was in the foulest of moods, it was raining, it was foggy, it was dark, my cd switched over to "here's to the night", it was an utterly bleak situation. Driving home just then however, no reason at all, the clouds lifted, the sun came out (Not in the insanely bright way), and a very uplifting and completely random song came on. Can't recall what that was but at that instant, a very calming and wholesome feeling came over me. It was very nice.

A girl at work has a thing for me. Not a happening thing. She can be nice and all but most of the time it's tripped out crazy bitch girl who gets angry for no reason. Me no likey. On a similar note, I have a small interest in another gal at work. She's cute/pretty and very funny. tried getting her out on Valentine's but we worked afternoon-night and she didn't wanna get up early. Oh well, perhaps something may work out. Who knows?

Received my package from Kristina. He smells like you. The whole box smells of you. I love it, I love you. Thanks so much. It means a lot to me.

Mom's birthday was today. Nothing worked out how I planned. Maybe I'll elaborate in another posting. It went ok then horrible then good. This was many crying bouts later. Sigh; drama.

I'm supposed to be writing, I'm not. Well I am just not what I'm supposed to be. I need an article about the new TV/Radio station which I'm managing (still nothing written), one about the campus' new Extranet to allow for better access to student needs, and a rough draft paper on the generational gap between youth and adults today and it's emergence in popular culture. BAAAHHHH!

Good news: Tips++ were hella good this week. 74 bucks. Not bad considering they're usually $50 and this is due to someone stealing them. Thankfully that's been taken care of =)
Bad news: I have $3 dollars left. Picked up gas, Queen cd for mom, Staind cd for me, and 2 pennywise tickets.
Local music shop ticks = $17.50 a pop, $35 altogether whereas...
Ticketmaster ticks = $21 each, 42 together.

Screw them!!!!!
Screw it all, sleep will make it better. Goodnight. Hope I can get Thursday off for the show. That will drive me to suicide if I miss Pennywise as well as the Magnified Plaid event earlier this week.

I saw you there. Standing gracefully unaware. Your presence known, your skin bare. How sweet your soul, shining through such darkened halls with illuminated brilliance. I go upto you and carress your silky hair. You seem at ease. "I love you" says I. You look at me lovingly; those eyes enriched with what appear to be vast oceans. Our embrace encompass that of the world. You're everything... you're nothing... you're gone... it was only a dream. If only you weren't a dream, if only this, were not a dream. Perhaps one day this will be reality or we can kiss forever in succinct blissful slumber. For now, all we have is the middle. Goodnight dream girl, wherever you may be. Goodnight OIO.
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