Weekend Get-away
by enlite
(Place, 1636 views) - 8/29/04
(recorded 8/29/04 @ 3:54:52 PM)
Friday, August 27.

I didn't go to sleep the night before, so I went into work early to get things done before the weekend. At 11:00am I drove home. At 11:30am Evan drove me to the airport. I relaxed in my seat. I put on my headphones and listened to Ben Folds Five "Gone".

God I hate that song.

Oooh, PrettyI landed in San Francisco at 2:49pm. The temperature was seventy-eight degrees; the wind blew in from the coast at approximately seven miles per hour. This is the weather god created.

Adam met me at the airport. We took the BART to Market Street and walked to his apartment on McAllister and Pierce. We passed City Hall, the Asian Museum, and many other interesting things, including the "Full House" houses and homeless people doing their "Help a guy out" / "Look what I can do" acts in desperation for money.

[Adam is a twenty-year-old Culinary Manager for the top hotel franchise in San Francisco. He works nights, and he wears long sleeve shirts with holes in the collar. He hates when people push or pull him through a crowd.]

After I settled into his apartment we took a bus into the gay housing district and ate dinner at Eric's, a small Chinese restaurant with a knack for spilling small portions of everything. We had chicken. I had the Kung Pau, he had the Five-Taste. The egg rolls were sub-par, but the tea was exceptional.

Having not slept the night before, I was beat. We went back home and called it an early night, blowing off Adam's friend Danny who was hoping to meet us at a bar. Sleeping is good.

I heart Judy GarlandWe woke at 8:00am on Saturday. We showered and got ready to go out. Showering is good. We took a bus to Market and walked down to Castro (dun duh duhn!). I have never seen so many gay flags in my life ever. Not only were they hanging from practically every storefront, they were also hung (by the government) on every lamppost. There was a wall painted red, orange, yellow, blue, green, and purple with the word "Live" in a different language for each color. Something tells me this is the gay part of town.

We ate brunch at the Baghdad Café where the servers have hot tattoos and the food is what it claims to be. The French toast was made from French bread, and the eggs were real. Hurray real eggs, you are a rarity. For "bresert", dessert after brunch, we went to Spike's for a quick Iced Soy Double-Shot White Mocha Latte, more easily referred to by locals as a "carefree". Yum.

We walked down Castro, musing at the various stores and corporations blaring gay pride (Sprint logos in rainbow colors are odd). Along the way we passed a threesome of oddities whom, upon hearing something funny, all burst out laughing in their own disturbing ways. Eventually we ran into Adam's friends Darrin, Bruce, and their dog Mikka.

This is NOT the cutest dogSide note: In San Francisco it is not only common but somewhat encouraged to bring your dog everywhere you go. It is not at all strange to go into a restaurant or store and see dogs lying down inside the entrance or wondering around smelling the goods. Most stores have a water dish and sell dog treats, and strangers will often buy treats and give them to dogs that they see around town that are cute and adorable, as most of them were.

The five of us (dog included) went up to Twin Peaks, where there is an amazing view of the city, a great view of the incoming fog, and an ungodly amount of Asian tourists. None of who were attractive in the slightest. Damnit. After a while we drove back to Darrin and Bruce's loft (just recently appraised at $750,000) This picture is STOLEN!where we got a quick drink and then left them to nap.

[Bruce loves to watch the cooking channel. He marinates his breasts in zip-lock bags, but never with honey, because that would just be weird. Darrin is a probation officer and enjoys that he gets out of parking and speeding tickets because of his job. He likes to take his shirt off when Bruce is around.]

We walked down to the Ferry Dock and checked out some of the shops. One of the shops was called "Sur la Table", which Adam insisted on calling "Sir la ta-ble" instead of "sur la tah-ble" like the French wanted him to. It was amusing. (ps: Adam doesn't really sound like that. At all.)

A quick dash on the bus and we were at Pier 39: home of sea lions, and other stupid tourist attractions where people walk around and pay for crap they could have gotten at home. Oh wait, they don't sell springy things with SF cable cars on them at home...oh well.

We ate at Bubba Gumps (delicious) where the servers are just a little bit dumber than they should be. Ours was a Caterina. She let us buy alcoholic beverages without ID because we were "an adorable gay couple" and because I told her my birthday was in 1982. To ensure that I wasn't lying, she asked me what my sign was. Well, since I'm a Capricorn I'm clearly old enough to drink!

[Caterina is a 20 year old sophomore in college, studying to get a degree in Business, Psychology, and a minor in something that was too boring to remember. She hates when she spills drinks on people, but she hates even more when foreigners snap their fingers and don't tip her.]

We went home after dinner in a cab, because the bus was too full and took too long. That and we were both happily intoxicated. Again, sleep is good.

This morning we woke up, did nothing (nothing is good) and then I caught a plane back home. Have I mentioned lately that Arizona sucks? Because it does, and if you don't know that than you need to get the hell out of here for a while and go someplace where there aren't Mormons riding bikes in 110° weather throwing bibles in the street and being harassed by bored, rebellious teenagers whose only way of expressing themselves is through the color of their hair.

Please, please get out of this life.

Oh, ps: major events omitted or changed because I said so. Yeah, now I'm just bored.
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LFMAO hahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah

if you were home you would hear me laughing right now

   [Sliced Ice (J) 8/29/04 4:58 PM]

Absolutely brilliant. The sur-la-table one was thrown off by the evil voice at the end, but the rest was top notch, hilarious. And man, just imagining you in front of your computer putting these together... Sigh...

That was absolutely great. Thank you.

   [disillusioned (J :: M) 8/29/04 11:41 PM]

I'm entirely aware that Arizona is absolutely awful. My plans include moving out of this state, to either New York, (which I adore) California, Colorado, Seattle, or maybe even somewhere in Europe. Just not here. I can only take so much sagebrush.

I hacked your links to make them go through a redir, so I can see how many people click them. Morbid curiosity, really. I'm like that. (Hilarious, once again.)

   [disillusioned (J :: M) 8/29/04 11:55 PM]

You are like that.

I don't know where I want to go when I get the hell out of here. England/Ireland would always be nice, but so would somewhere on the coast. I guess it depends who they elect for president and how royally he screws our country. If worse comes to worst I guess Canada isn't all bad...

   [enlite (J :: M) 8/30/04 8:11 AM]

And really, REALLY: Adam doesn't sound like that. Stop judging!!!!!

   [enlite (J :: M) 8/30/04 8:21 AM]

oh my god Tony.
this is me, laughing hysterically.
love the narration, and the mp3s are such a perfect touch.

and yes, Arizona is terrible. I almost wish I hadn't gone to Seattle this summer, because right now I really really wish I could be back up there. (and it's right by Canada. double hurrah.)

my hair is magenta right now. oh dear.

   [sound affects (J) 8/30/04 8:23 PM]

Magenta? Eek. You should hang out with Evan's brother.

   [enlite (J :: M) 8/31/04 5:05 PM]

Hehehe... Or you could've invited him along with you, Tony...

   [disillusioned (J :: M) 8/31/04 7:00 PM]

Now now, these things take time!

   [enlite (J :: M) 8/31/04 10:11 PM]

his hair is pink, not purple or a giant rainbow!

   [Sliced Ice (J) 8/31/04 11:26 PM]

Pink hair and girl's shoes are where it all begins... Just wait till he starts to wear makeup.

   [enlite (J :: M) 9/1/04 10:50 AM]

Sigh. The sur-la-table one, I swear I need without the ghetto voice effect at the end. Do you have the source? (It doesn't need a big finish like that... It stands alone!)

   [disillusioned (J :: M) 9/3/04 2:12 PM]

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